I coach and train an individual that I will call “Sean” for anonymity purposes. Our weekly focus is to discuss his feelings and outcomes behind why he has not gotten to the next level in his career and personal life. Prior to our coaching, there have been several things in his life that keep recurring. His financial levels remain the same, the relationships always go the same direction, and his level of close friendship seems to always remain shallow.
Sean is now exercising a little which is more of a time to reflect and is eating better. However, he has mixed this in with life coaching with me. During our virtual one-on-one, we came to realize that Sean has cellular and emotional memories that impact is current reactionary responses to almost everything in his life.
One of them is being when he was thirteen years old and waiting outside for his father to pick him up for the day. This is just an event he recalls but the feeling behind this event is constant and one of the continuum reactions in his relationships. His father and mother were divorced and there was no court order to pay child support or spend amble quality time. With this one event, Sean waited for hours watching each car come over the hill hoping it was his dads. He recalls the sun setting and his mom looking on with pity as he kept hoping there was a good reason for being late. Unfortunately, his father never showed up or called.
Like most if not all kids, Sean desired his father to be a part of his life. He always wanted to impress him at his Karate tournaments, games, and events but as usual, his father would not show up or appear very interested in Sean’s life and trials he faced as a young boy. This is one reason Sean to this day has never tried to succeed at anything with 100% conviction. If he feels there is no support, he quickly becomes discouraged and gives up.
These types of experience (This is just one of them) created a self-worth issue for this now grown man. Sean’s vivid experiences and memories of his relationship with his father have conditioned Sean with a low self-worth and a lack of trust in others including his religions concept of God. Sean has grown up worshiping a god that has a description of a father-like figure. The feelings of let down and not showing up for him is only strengthen when he feels his prayers are not answered or the sense of loneliness still exist even after going to church.
Sean’s issue with completing the things he starts and his lack of trust in others stems from his cellular feelings of self-worth. The lack of interest his father impressed on his emotions enhanced his need for acceptance. This also has been a major influence on how Sean describes himself and how he communicates with others and even his love life. His desire to impress others and hold their attention all stems from the emotional feelings that are continually looking for ways to express themselves within his life.
We all have something that occurs continually within our existence. Like Sean, many of us have controlling personalities to self-defeating talk within our subconscious that stops us when we are about to overcome some obstacle. These feelings that act out in the little almost un-detected way if not examined will drive people to divorce, bankruptcy, loneliness, and even suicidal tendencies.
Do you find anything in common with Sean? Do you see in this short description of Sean how he would bring himself low so he could experience that exact subconscious emotion he has come to know and be comfortable with? We all should see some part of us in him, including myself. We all have a biography that is now a part of our thinking and acting out in our biology and mind.
Like Sean, I have emotional memories that impact my daily view and reaction to my life. I work on them with my own personal coach and I am here to help you understand yours. How you view, react, and create a life around your job, relationships, church, family, love, and everything in-between is all based off of your paradigm and view of reality that protects your emotional needs.
Coaching with me will help you understand your subconscious thinking and quickly embrace your responsibility to breaking the chains that create the same results in your life.